Navigating Parenthood: Love Forgiveness & Discipline

“The most important of the Lord’s work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes.”
Harold B. Lee

Navigating the journey of parenthood can be both rewarding and challenging. As parents, we strive to raise our children in a nurturing environment. We aim to instill values that will guide them throughout their lives.

For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, our journey of parenthood is deeply rooted in our faith in our Father’s plan of happiness. We seek to raise our children according to the teachings and principles of the Church.

This article delves into the wisdom and advice from the scriptures and LDS leaders on parenting. We explore how these insights can help families navigate the complexities of raising children in today’s world.

Embracing Your Sacred Duty as a Parent

“Fathers and mothers, your foremost responsibility is your family. By working together you can have the kind of home the Lord expects you to have. By showing love and consideration for one another and for your children, you can build a reservoir of spiritual strength that will never run dry.”
Spencer W. Kimball

As an LDS parent, you have a greater responsibility than non-faith based parents. We hold the most important job of all which is the sacred responsibility of nurturing our children in the teachings of the gospel. While this responsibility comes with challenges, it is a tremendous blessing.

We must impart to our children an understanding of Heavenly Father’s love and the principles taught by Jesus Christ. This spiritual grounding will serve as a guiding light for them as they journey through life.

Love and Patience: Key Virtues in LDS Parenting

“In family relationships, love is really spelled “TIME.” Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home. We talk with, rather than about, each other.”
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf | “Of the Things that Matter Most”

Love and patience are key virtues in gospel parenting. Children should be shown unconditional love, the kind of love should be patient, kind, and forgiving, mirroring the love that Heavenly Father has for His children.

Raising children is a long-term commitment that requires understanding and patience. We are encouraged as faithful parents to be patient with our children’s growth and development, recognizing that each child is unique and learns at their own pace.

One of the most powerful Bible stories illustrating love and patience is the parable of the Prodigal Son found in the Gospel of Luke, chapter 15, verses 11-32.

The Prodigal Son

In this parable, a man had two sons. The younger son asked for his share of the inheritance and then went off to a distant country, where he squandered all his wealth in reckless living. Eventually, a severe famine arose in that country, and the son found himself in dire need. He decided to return to his father’s house, willing to become one of his father’s hired servants rather than continue in his impoverished state.

As the son returned home, his father saw him from a distance and ran out to greet him with open arms. Instead of rebuking him for his wastefulness, the father welcomed him back with love and compassion. He even threw a lavish celebration to rejoice in his son’s return.

This story beautifully illustrates the unconditional love and patience of a father waiting for his son’s return, despite the son’s poor choices and disobedience. It demonstrates the depths of a parent’s love and the boundless patience that God extends to each of us, welcoming us back with open arms when we repent and turn to Him.

Reflective Questions on Parenting with Patience

How do I respond when my child makes mistakes or misbehaves?
Am I able to remain calm and composed during challenging parenting moments?
Do I apologize to my child when I lose my patience or make mistakes as a parent?
How do I express love, understanding, and support to my child, even during moments of impatience or frustration?

Practical Advice on How To Improve Your Patience

Improving patience is a valuable skill that can lead to greater peace of mind and healthier relationships. Here are some suggestions on how to cultivate patience:

Practice Mindfulness: Cultivate awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and reactions in the present moment. Mindfulness helps you become more patient by allowing you to observe your impulses and choose how to respond calmly and thoughtfully.
Develop Empathy: Put yourself in others’ shoes and try to understand their perspectives and feelings. Recognizing that everyone has their own challenges and struggles can help you respond with compassion and patience.
Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that things don’t always go according to plan and that setbacks are a normal part of life. Adjust your expectations to be more realistic, and be patient with yourself and others as you work towards your goals.
Take Deep Breaths: When you feel yourself becoming impatient or frustrated, take a few deep breaths to calm your mind and body. Deep breathing can help reduce stress and bring you back to the present moment. You can always practice counting to 10 to help you de-escalate negative emotions.
Practice Delayed Gratification: Delaying gratification by postponing immediate desires or impulses can help you develop greater patience over time. Practice waiting for things you want rather than seeking instant gratification.
Focus on Solutions: Instead of dwelling on problems or obstacles, focus on finding solutions and taking positive steps forward. Shifting your focus from the problem to the solution can help you maintain patience and optimism.

Balancing Discipline with Understanding

“You have agency, and you are free to choose. But there is actually no free agency. Agency has its price. You have to pay the consequences of your choices.”

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf | On the Wings of Eagles, BYU Devotional, July 2006

Discipline is a necessary part of parenting, although it should be balanced with understanding. Discipline should be guided by love, not anger. It’s important to correct children when they make mistakes, but it’s equally important to understand their feelings and perspectives.

A way of balancing discipline with understanding is to teach children about the consequences of their actions. This helps children understand why certain behaviors are unacceptable.

At the same time, parents should be patient and forgiving, remembering that everyone makes mistakes and that learning and growth often come through trial and error. If we teach our children to forgive we must too forgive.

Teaching and Practicing Forgiveness

“The Savior taught that we should forgive all men, that we may be forgiven of our sins. This is not always easy to do, but it is necessary if we want to be obedient to the Savior’s commandments and have peace in our hearts.”
Joseph B. Wirthlin

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35): In this parable, Jesus tells of a servant who owed an enormous debt to his king. When the servant begged for mercy, the king, moved with compassion, forgave the entire debt. However, when this same servant encountered a fellow servant who owed him a much smaller amount, he refused to forgive him and had him thrown into prison. When the king heard of this, he was furious and revoked his forgiveness, delivering the unforgiving servant to be tortured until he could pay back his debt. This parable illustrates the consequences of failing to forgive others, despite receiving forgiveness ourselves.

Reflecting On Personal Forgiveness

What does forgiveness mean to me personally?
Do I understand the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation?
Am I holding onto any grudges or resentments towards others?
How do I feel when I think about forgiving someone who has hurt me?
What barriers or obstacles do I face in forgiving others?

How to Practice Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a deeply personal and often challenging process, but it is essential for emotional healing and peace of mind. Here are some tips on how to forgive:

Acknowledge Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions. Recognize that it’s normal to feel anger, sadness, or resentment, but try not to let these emotions consume you.
Understand the Benefits of Forgiveness: Recognize that forgiveness is not condoning the hurtful actions of others but rather freeing yourself from the burden of anger and resentment. Understand that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
Practice Empathy: Try to understand the perspective of the person who hurt you. Consider what may have led them to act the way they did and recognize that everyone makes mistakes.
Release Negative Emotions: Choose to let go of negative emotions such as anger, resentment, and bitterness. Holding onto these feelings only prolongs your own suffering and prevents you from finding peace.
Express Your Feelings: Consider expressing your feelings through journaling, talking to a trusted friend or therapist, or engaging in creative activities such as art or music. Expressing your emotions can help you process them more effectively.
Choose to Forgive: Forgiveness is a conscious choice that you make for your own well-being. Decide to let go of resentment and release yourself from the emotional burden of the past.

Bible Stories on Consequences of Our Actions

Adam and Eve (Genesis 3): This story illustrates the consequences of disobedience. Adam and Eve’s decision to eat from the forbidden tree in the Garden of Eden resulted in them being expelled from paradise and introduced sin and suffering into the world.

This decision impacted the entire human race as the birth of every single soul would be in ‘the world’ not under God’s protection in the Garden of Eden.

This story is a pillar example of making the wrong choices that can lead to permanent life-changing results regardless of repentance. Some consequences are permanent. For instance, pre-marital sex can result in the birth of a child. Drink driving can result in a car accident leaving permanent injury or death to yourself and or others.

Reflecting on the Consequences of Our Actions

What consequences have you faced in your life due to making the wrong choice? Share this with your children.
Did you consider the potential consequences of your actions before you took them?
Have my actions affected others in ways that I did not anticipate?
How do I feel about the outcomes of my actions?
Did my actions align with my values and principles?

The answers to these questions create powerful real-life examples of the consequences of our choices that we can share with our children at the appropriate ages. Seeing our imperfections and flaws can help children want to open up about things that they may have done that were not right. This is because they can see us as what we are a flawed being and reiterates to the child that no one is perfect, we all make mistakes, and that it’s ok to admit them. In fact it is very important that they do own up to their mistakes and repent to the Lord.