Biblical Marriage Principles: Building a Godly Foundation for a Successful Marriage
Biblical marriage principles: Building a Godly foundation for a successful Marriage.
We all know one of “those” couples that have the perfect marriage and seem to be blissfuly happy and in love. Sometimes I think to myself are they just lucky? Or is it possible that I can create a marriage like that?
Building a Godly marriage foundation, and growing that marriage in God spurs a growth and change of mindset as we draw nearer to the Savior. Changes in our mindset, brings changes in our actions. These actions or inaction effects our beliefs and the way we treat others. Let’s see how biblical principals were present in Ethan and Emmas marriage.
Ethan and Emma
Ethan and Emma had been married for just over three years, and their love had only grown deeper with time. They had met during their time at BYU, where they were both studying.
From the moment they met, there was an undeniable connection between them. Their shared faith and commitment to living gospel principles had formed a strong foundation for their relationship, and they were soon sealed for time and all eternity in the temple.
Every day, Ethan made it a point to remind Emma how much she meant to him. Whether it was a simple note left on the kitchen counter or a spontaneous bouquet of flowers, he knew that small acts of kindness were essential in keeping their love alive.
Emma, in turn, always took time to express her appreciation for Ethanโs constant support and devotion. They prayed together each morning and evening, seeking the Lordโs guidance in their lives and expressing gratitude for the love they shared.
Through this, they built a home filled with peace, mutual respect, and unwavering love, centered on their shared faith and commitment to one another. Their love was not just an emotion; it was an active choice they made every day, fortified by their faith and their desire to build an eternal family.
Godly Marriage
Marriage, as portrayed in the Bible, is not merely a social contract but a divine institution ordained by God Himself. When men and women marry, they make solemn covenants with each other and with God.
These covenants reflects the love of God and the biblical principles of marriage that will guide the couple throughout their lives. The vows exchanged during the ceremony are not just promises to each other but also to God, committing the couple to a lifetime of love, respect, and faithfulness.
From the Old Testament to the New Testament, the Bible lays down foundational principles that guide the institution of marriage. These biblical marriage principles are designed to create a strong, Godly foundation for a successful marriage, where mutual respect, love, and commitment are paramount.
While death may do you part for some of us, others take on the highly devoted and sacred commitment of eternal marriage.
Eternal Marriage
Eternal marriage is an essential part of Gods plan for Latter-day Saints. Eternal marriage is part of the plan of happiness and our spiritual evolution. Teaching us through experience how to become more like God, with opportunities of growth as we progress along the spiritual path allowing us the free will of making the right or wrong choices.
While I have some friends who are non LDS Christians and chuckle about how their wives will be happy to be rid of them in the afterlife, I know I want to be keeping my husband by my side through all of eternity.
Union of one flesh
The very definition of marriage is rooted in God is the becoming one flesh, a union, and one. In Genesis 2:24, it is written, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
This passage highlights the significance of creating a new family unit, where both partners commit to each other in a bond that mirrors the relationship between Christ and the Church.
Becoming one flesh emphasizes the sacred union marriage brings and the ideation that they can not go back and be separated again. For how does one separate one flesh. You cannot, you would merely be removing a limb or part not another person. This brings us to the question what happens when marriages fail? This will be discussed later on in the article.
The Role of Godโs Word in Shaping a Biblical Marriage
For a marriage to be successful in God’s eyes, it must be grounded in God’s Word. The Bible serves as the ultimate guide, offering wisdom and instruction on how to navigate the complexities of married life.
Whether itโs the teachings of the Old Testament or the insights of the Apostle Paul in the New Testament, Godโs Word provides the biblical principles of marriage that help couples build a firm foundation.
Weekly scripture study as a married couple grows Gods word in your marriage. Prayers should also be said as a couple. This is not in replace of your everyday prayer but an addition.
Praying as a couple draws each other and God closer by seeing your partners relationship with God. God also blesses those who draw near to him.
Reflection
In what ways do you use Gods word in your marriage?
What advise would you give to newly weds about bringing God into their marriage?
The Importance of Mutual Respect in a Healthy Marriage
Mutual respect is a cornerstone of any successful marriage. In Ephesians 5:21-33, the Apostle Paul emphasizes the importance of mutual submission, where both husband and wife honor each other out of reverence for Christ.
This type of love, rooted in respect and understanding, is essential for maintaining harmony and unity within the marriage. Mutual respect also plays a crucial role in effective communication, allowing couples to listen actively and address issues with compassion and empathy.
Mutual respect is not stubborn or ego centric. When one “wins” in a relationship and the other “loses” the marriage loses. Compromising to meet each others needs is essential in building mutual respect in a marriage.
3 ways to show mutual respect in a marriage
Support Each Otherโs Goals and Dreams
What It Is: Supporting your spouseโs personal and professional aspirations shows that you respect their individuality and want to see them thrive.
How to Do It: Encourage your spouse to pursue their goals, offer help where you can, and celebrate their achievements. Show interest in their passions and be their biggest cheerleader.
Value Each Otherโs Opinions
What It Is: Valuing your spouseโs opinions means considering their views as important and worthy of your attention.
How to Do It: Seek your spouseโs input on decisions, listen to their ideas, and be open to compromising or adjusting your perspective based on their insights. This reinforces that their thoughts matter to you.
Show Appreciation and Gratitude
What It Is: Regularly expressing appreciation and gratitude reinforces the value you place on your spouse and their contributions to the relationship.
How to Do It: Say “thank you” often, not just for big gestures but for the small, everyday things your spouse does. Acknowledge their efforts and sacrifices, and let them know how much you appreciate them.
Reflection
Here are three reflective questions on mutual respect in marriage:
- How do I demonstrate mutual respect toward my spouse in our daily interactions, and what areas can I improve to ensure that my actions consistently reflect the value I place on our relationship?
- When conflicts arise, do I approach disagreements with a mindset of understanding and empathy, or do I allow frustration to overshadow the respect I have for my spouseโs perspective?
- In what ways can I actively foster a culture of mutual respect in my marriage, ensuring that both my words and actions communicate honor, appreciation, and love for my spouse?
Godโs Design for Love and Intimacy in Marriage
The love of God is the ultimate example of how spouses should love each other. This love is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. In the context of a Christian marriage ceremony, vows are exchanged that reflect this divine love, committing each partner to a lifelong journey of love and fidelity.
When we marry under Christ we are creating a relationship and deep commitment between your partner, yourself and God. I like to think of it as a triangle with God at the top and each partner at the bottom corners.
Hebrews 13:4 states, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” This principle underscores the importance of maintaining purity and fidelity within the marriage, honoring the sanctity of the marriage bed in Godโs eyes.
Adultery is strictly forbidden in a Christian marriage. Exodus 20:14 (NIV) states: “You shall not commit adultery.” This is one of the Ten Commandments, highlighting the seriousness of adultery in God’s law.
Adultery is not only applied to action only. Adultery applies to the mind also. In fact thinking about committing adultery brings in several more sins along with it. Perhaps it’s coveting what others have through coveting someone else’s partner, or jealousy.
Unwavering Commitment: The Glue of a Biblical Marriage
A biblical marriage requires unwavering commitment, especially during hard times. Marriage is not always easy; it involves hard work and intentional efforts to maintain a strong foundation.
Mark and Lisa had been married for nearly a decade, but recently, their relationship had hit a rough patch. The pressures of work, raising two young children, and the daily grind had slowly driven a wedge between them. Arguments became more frequent, and the warmth that once filled their home seemed to have faded. They felt more like roommates than partners, and the distance between them grew.
One evening, after yet another heated argument, Mark sat alone in the living room, reflecting on how they had come to this point. He remembered their wedding day, standing before God, family, and friends, promising to love and cherish Lisa for better or worse, in sickness and in health. The words “unwavering commitment” echoed in his mind. He knew that love wasnโt just a feelingโit was a choice, a commitment they had made to each other and to God.
The next morning, Mark approached Lisa with a heavy heart but a determined spirit. “Lisa,” he said gently, “I know things have been hard lately, and Iโm sorry for my part in it. But I want to fight for our marriage. I love you, and I believe we can get through this together. We made a promise to each other and to God, and Iโm committed to making this work.”
Lisa, who had been feeling the same strain, was moved by Markโs sincerity. She, too, had been reflecting on their vows and the covenant they had made. “I love you too, Mark,” she replied, tears welling in her eyes. “I donโt want to give up on us. Letโs work through this, with Godโs help.”
Together, they decided to seek counseling from their pastor, who guided them through the healing process. They began to pray together again, asking God to restore the love and connection they had lost. They started setting aside time each week for just the two of them, rekindling the friendship and romance that had been overshadowed by the busyness of life.
It wasnโt easy, and there were still moments of tension, but their unwavering commitment to each otherโand to Godโbecame the bedrock of their renewed relationship. Slowly but surely, the love that had once seemed lost began to flourish again. Their marriage, once on the brink of collapse, was saved by their decision to honor their vows and to lean on Godโs grace and strength.
In time, Mark and Lisa found that their bond was stronger than ever, forged in the fires of trial but tempered by their unwavering commitment. They knew that whatever challenges the future held, they would face them together, hand in hand, with God at the center of their marriage.
In Matthew 19:6, Jesus reminds us, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” This verse emphasizes the indissoluble nature of marriage, where both partners must remain steadfast in their commitment, even when faced with challenges.
Building a Strong Foundation Through Godโs Grace
God’s grace is essential in building and sustaining a healthy marriage. Without it, the pressures of life can easily strain the relationship. A Christian couple must rely on Godโs grace to forgive, to love, and to persevere through the inevitable difficulties that arise in marriage. The love of God, as manifested through His grace, empowers couples to overcome obstacles and grow stronger together.
Reflection
- In what ways have I experienced Godโs grace in my marriage, especially during times of conflict or difficulty, and how can I better rely on that grace to navigate future challenges together?
- How does recognizing my own need for Godโs grace help me to extend forgiveness, patience, and understanding to my spouse when they fall short, just as I do?
- How can I actively invite and cultivate Godโs grace in my marriage, ensuring that our relationship is continually strengthened by His love and guidance?
The Role of Effective Communication in a Successful Marriage
Effective communication is a vital component of a successful marriage. It involves more than just talking; it requires active listening, empathy, and a willingness to understand the other personโs perspective.
James 1:19 advises, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” This biblical principle of marriage highlights the importance of communication that builds up rather than tears down, fostering a healthy and constructive dialogue between spouses.
Practicing Active Listening
What It Is: Active listening involves fully focusing on your spouse when they are speaking, without interrupting or thinking about your response while they talk.
How to Do It: Make eye contact, nod to show youโre engaged, and repeat back what theyโve said to ensure understanding. This shows that you value their thoughts and are willing to hear them out.
Communicate Openly and Honestly
What It Is: Open and honest communication allows both partners to express their feelings, concerns, and desires without fear of judgment or retaliation.
How to Do It: Speak your mind kindly and clearly, and encourage your spouse to do the same. Address issues directly and constructively, and avoid withholding information or emotions that might create misunderstandings.
The Importance of Hard Work and Intentional Efforts in Marriage
Marriage is not a passive relationship but one that requires hard work and intentional efforts from both partners. Just as a bank account grows with consistent deposits, so does a marriage thrive when both spouses invest time, energy, and love into it.
The biblical foundations of marriage emphasize the need for diligence and perseverance, reminding us that a strong marriage does not happen by chance but by the intentional efforts of both individuals.
The book His needs and Her needs talks about emotional deposits and withdrawals and how they can effect your marriage. Knowing what your partner needs from you is essential to serving each others needs in a way that they receive it.
For instance you might need to be hugged a lot where your partner does not. Because you crave this type of affection perhaps you shower your partner in hugs and kisses. But… because your partner does not receive love this way there isn’t a deposit in her love bank. There is a very likely chance it will be a withdrawl from your love bank as your left feeling like “I show her I love her all the time and she never shows me”.
It’s essential to know what are deposits and withdrawls in our love banks.
The Impact of a Godly Foundation on Young Couples
Young couples, especially those newly married, must build their relationship on a Godly foundation. This involves understanding and applying the biblical principles of marriage from the very beginning.
By doing so, they establish a strong foundation that will support them throughout their married life.
Proverbs 24:3-4 teaches, “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” This wisdom from Godโs Word serves as a guide for young couples, helping them build a marriage that is both fulfilling and lasting.
The Importance of a Firm Foundation in Your Own Marriage
Every married couple should strive to build their relationship on a firm foundation rooted in biblical principles. This foundation is essential for weathering the storms of life and ensuring that the marriage remains strong and resilient.
Whether you are newlyweds or have been married for decades, it is never too late to strengthen your marriage by applying the timeless truths found in Godโs Word.
Study scriptures that pertain to marriage, such as Ephesians 5:22-33 and 1 Corinthians 13, and apply these teachings to your relationship. Focus on love, respect, humility, and selflessness as the cornerstones of your marriage.
Embrace Forgiveness and Grace
What It Means: No marriage is without mistakes and misunderstandings. Embracing forgiveness and extending grace is essential for healing and maintaining a strong foundation.
How to Do It: Be quick to forgive when your spouse falls short, and seek forgiveness when you do. Remember that grace is a gift from God, and just as He forgives us, we are called to forgive each other.
Godโs Design for Marriage: A Blueprint for Success
Godโs design for marriage is a blueprint that, when followed, leads to a successful and fulfilling relationship. By adhering to the biblical principles of marriage, couples can experience the joy, love, and peace that God intended for this sacred union.
Whether through mutual respect, unwavering commitment, or the love of God, these principles provide the guidance needed to build a marriage that is not only successful but also pleasing in Godโs eyes.
Marriage Divorce and Seperation
Divorce was not anything I ever thought would happen in my life and I was very confused when I was confronted with divorce papers from my ex husband. Because eternal marriage is in essence “Eternal,” how could divorce be possible?
It’s a concept that did not make sense in my head and I could not accept. It wasn’t until my current husband told me you are not getting divorced you are being divorced. Then things sat a little differently in my mind.
I had made this eternal commitment with God I had no intention in breaking it, yet it was no longer in my control.
One should seek peace and understanding when it comes to marraige although sometimes divorce in not part of our choice but our partners.
The LDS Church say’s “Those who have caused a divorce through their own poor choices can repent and be forgiven. Those whose marriages have failed because of what others have done can receive strength and comfort from the Lord, who promised: โCome unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. โฆ For my yoke is easy, and my burden lightโ
Conclusion: The Centrality of God in Our Marriages
At the center of our marriages should be God, whose love, wisdom, and grace provide the foundation for a healthy and successful relationship. By embracing the biblical principles of marriage, couples can build a strong foundation that will endure the challenges of life.
Whether you are a young couple just starting out or a married couple looking to strengthen your relationship, remember that a marriage built on Godโs Word is one that will stand the test of time.
In conclusion, the biblical principles of marriage offer timeless wisdom for building a strong, healthy, and Godly marriage. By following these principles, couples can create a relationship that is rooted in mutual respect, unwavering commitment, and the love of God.
Whether in times of joy or hard times, a marriage grounded in Godโs design will remain resilient, reflecting the beauty and sanctity of the institution of marriage as intended by God.
Final Thoughts
As you reflect on your own marriage or prepare for a Christian marriage ceremony, consider the importance of building your relationship on the biblical foundations outlined in Godโs Word. By doing so, you will not only honor the institution of marriage but also experience the fullness of Godโs love and grace in your life together.
Remember, a successful marriage is not just about finding the right partner but also about being the right partner, grounded in the biblical principles that define a Godly and fulfilling marriage.