Positive Parenting Solutions: Strategies for Building Healthy Relationships with Your Children

Author: Vanessa Rooney

Vanessa is an Australian LDS lifestyle blogger. Landed in Salt Lake City,  Utah, from the sun kissed beaches of Bondi, Australia, Vanessa is a wife and mother of three children.

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Welcome to the ultimate guide on positive parenting solutions. This article series will educate you on all facets of positive parenting and more. We will deeply dive into attachment types, learning why and how present behaviors stem from attachment.

Secondly, we move into understanding different parenting styles and how to implement them. Then, we learn emotional regulation skills to teach our children as well as identify if their emotional needs are being met. Lastly, we learn about positive discipline and how to develop respectful relationships between siblings.

I learned a lot about parenting from researching and writing this article series, and my hope for you is that you can learn and grow as much as I did from this positive parenting series.

Positive Parenting Series Table of Contents:

1. Positive Parenting Styles & How To Do It
2. Understanding Parenting Attachment Styles 
3. Understanding the problems with Gentle Parenting
4. The Hidden Impact of Negative Parenting Styles
5. The Responsive Parenting Style
6. Signs of Emotional Neglect in Children
7. Meeting The Emotional Needs of a Child
8. Teaching Emotional Intelligence in Early Childhood
9. Emotional Regulation Worksheets for Kids
10. Redirecting Child Behavior: Positive Parenting Approaches
11. Implementing Self-Esteem Activities for Children: Positive Parenting
12. Positive Parenting for Toddlers 
13. Positive Parenting Solutions for Teens

Introduction to Positive Parenting

Parenting can be challenging, especially when dealing with daily struggles like sibling squabbles, bedtime battles, and morning chaos. Positive parenting solutions are based on techniques that promote respect, cooperation, and emotional health within the family. They aim to replace punitive discipline with constructive strategies, focusing on understanding and addressing the root of kids’ behavior. 

Pioneered by expert Amy McCready, positive parenting solutions provides a structured approach to overcoming these challenges without losing control.  McCready’s techniques have helped countless parents create a harmonious home environment, emphasizing mutual respect, life skills, and emotional well-being. In this article, we’ll explore the 8 core components of positive parenting with examples and advice on how to use these principles in your everyday life. 

The 8 Key Components of Positive Parenting Solutions

1. Positive Discipline and Mutual Respect
2. Building Life Skills
3. Implementing Positive Discipline and Consistent Boundaries
4. Focus on Problem-Solving Skills and Emotional Intelligence
5. Consistent Routines and Predictability
6. Use Positive Reinforcement to Encourage Good Behavior
7. Reflect, Learn, and Adjust

1. Positive Discipline and Mutual Respect

Positive discipline is central to McCready’s approach. Unlike punitive methods, positive discipline focuses on teaching children self-control and respect through empathy and constructive feedback.

This approach not only promotes healthy relationships but also reduces power struggles and helps children feel heard and understood. Instead of scolding a child for not completing their chores, positive parenting solutions encourage a respectful discussion about why chores are necessary, fostering understanding and accountability.

Positive Parenting Discipline Example: Redirecting Tantrums with Empathy and Clear Boundaries

Scenario: Your 4-year-old child is throwing a tantrum because they cannot have a cookie before dinner. 

1. Acknowledge the Emotion

Start by empathizing with your child’s feelings. Let them know they’re heard and understood.  

What to Say:

• “I see you’re really upset because you want a cookie right now. It’s hard to wait, isn’t it?”
• Acknowledging their emotions helps them feel validated and builds trust.

2. Explain the Reason Behind the Limit 

Positive parenting emphasizes teaching rather than punishing. Explain why they can’t have the cookie right now.

What to Say:

• “Cookies are treats, and we save them for after meals. Right now, we’re getting ready for dinner so your tummy will have room for healthy food.”
• This provides clarity and helps your child understand the logic behind the boundary.

3. Offer a Positive Alternative

Redirect the child’s attention to something they can have or do instead of focusing on the “no.”  

What to Say:

• “Would you like to help me set the table for dinner? After we eat, you can have a cookie.”
• This shifts the focus and gives the child a sense of control and participation.

4. Stay Calm and Consistent

Even if the tantrum continues, stay calm and maintain the boundary without giving in. Offer comfort without changing the rule.  

What to Say:

• “I know it’s hard to wait, but you can have your cookie after dinner. I’ll stay here with you while you calm down.”
• Remaining calm helps de-escalate the situation and models emotional regulation.

5. Follow Through

Once the meal is over, praise their patience and give them the promised cookie.  

What to Say:  

• “Thank you for waiting! You did a great job being patient. Here’s your cookie.”
• This reinforces trust and the idea that good behavior leads to positive outcomes.

Why This Works:  

• Empathy: Shows you value their feelings.  
• Clear Boundaries: Teaches self-regulation and respect for rules.  
• Redirection: Focuses on positive behavior rather than punishment.  
• Consistency: Builds trust and reinforces the parent-child bond.

This approach combines teaching moments with kindness, which aligns with the principles of positive parenting.

2. Building Life Skills

Another key component of positive parenting solutions is teaching essential life skills. In our article series, we take deeper dives into providing emotional support for your child as well as self-esteem-building activities. These articles provide worksheets and examples so that you can better equip your child to build life skills.

Establish Connection Time

McCready emphasizes the importance of “Connection Before Correction,” or spending quality time with each child every day. Known as “Special Time” or “Mind, Body, and Soul Time,” this connection period strengthens the parent-child bond, making children more likely to cooperate and reducing attention-seeking behaviors.

The time spent together reassures children that they’re valued and loved, promoting a sense of security and reducing the need for negative attention-seeking.

This step I can personally tell you from my experience works! Whenever I have work that needs to get done, if I don’t do an activity with my kids beforehand, there is no way I am getting any work done. I end up getting frustrated, and it just is not a good situation for anyone.

Some activities that I do are drawing with the kids, playing old maid (which they call old man, which I think is really funny), or making clay sculptures. I didn’t find taking the kids to the park very successful because it didn’t give that 1:1 time. Yes, it was great for letting their energy out, but it still did not suffice. 

Step 3: Encourage Positive Power and Independence

Children have an inherent need for control and autonomy. Assigning responsibilities to children not only teaches life skills but also builds confidence and a sense of contribution. In this step, McCready encourages parents to give children age-appropriate responsibilities and choices.

By allowing them to make small decisions throughout the day (such as choosing their clothes or setting the dinner table), parents satisfy their child’s need for autonomy. This strategy can prevent big-ticket power struggles and reinforce a child’s sense of agency and self-confidence.

Age-Appropriate Responsibilities for Children and Youth

Toddlers (Ages 2–3)

At this age, children are eager to help and can handle simple, guided tasks:  

Household Tasks:

• Put toys in a basket.  
• Place books on a low shelf.  
• Wipe spills with a cloth.  
• Help feed pets with supervision.  

Personal Care:

• Brush teeth with assistance.  
• Wash hands with help.  
• Start learning to dress themselves.  
• Key Approach: Use visual cues, songs, and lots of praise to make tasks fun.

Preschoolers (Ages 4–5)

Preschoolers are developing fine motor skills and understanding routines.  

Household Tasks:

• Set the table (napkins, unbreakable items).  
• Water plants.  
• Help sort laundry by color.  I use different laundry baskets for the colors and whites and I make it a basketball game with my kids to get them super excited about it.
• Make their bed (simple).  

Personal Care: 

• Dress themselves with occasional help.  
• Put away shoes and coat.  
• Help pack snacks or a lunchbox.  
• Key Approach:  Be patient as they practice. Provide clear instructions and celebrate effort over perfection.

Elementary-Aged Children (Ages 6–9)

Kids at this stage enjoy independence and can manage more structured tasks.  

Household Tasks:

• Sweep or vacuum small areas.  
• Empty trash cans.  
• Load/unload the dishwasher.  
• Fold and put away laundry.  

Personal Care:

• Pack their school bag.  
• Prepare simple meals (e.g., sandwiches).  
• Take care of personal hygiene independently.  
• Key Approach: Build routines and use charts or checklists to encourage consistency.

Preteens (Ages 10–12) 

Preteens are capable of more complex responsibilities that require critical thinking.  

Household Tasks: 

• Mow the lawn or rake leaves.  
• Take out the trash and recycling.  
• Prepare a simple dinner or bake under supervision.  
• Organize their room and personal belongings.  

Personal Care:

• Manage their schedule (e.g., homework, activities).  
• Care for younger siblings briefly (with an adult nearby).  
• Keep track of personal hygiene without reminders.  
• Key Approach: Encourage accountability and offer rewards like extra privileges for consistency.

Teenagers (Ages 13–18)

Teenagers should develop skills that prepare them for adulthood.  

Household Tasks:

• Cook full meals independently.  
• Manage household chores (e.g., laundry, grocery shopping).  
• Perform minor home repairs or maintenance (e.g., changing a lightbulb).  

Personal Care:

• Budget and save allowance or part-time job earnings.  
• Schedule appointments (e.g., haircuts, doctor visits).  
• Drive younger siblings (if licensed) or assist in family errands.  
• Key Approach: Offer opportunities for decision-making and problem-solving. Encourage independence but be available for guidance.

General Tips for All Ages:  

1. Model Tasks: Demonstrate first, then guide them to try.  
2. Praise Effort: Focus on what they’re doing right to build confidence.  
3. Adjust Expectations: Tasks may take longer or be less perfect—celebrate progress.  
4. Incorporate Values: Tie responsibilities to family contributions and personal growth.

Giving children age-appropriate tasks not only prepares them for future responsibilities but also strengthens family bonds and teaches life skills in meaningful ways.

Step 4: Implement Positive Discipline and Consistent Boundaries

Instead of relying on punishments, McCready’s system emphasizes using positive discipline to guide behavior. This step involves setting clear, consistent boundaries and using logical or natural consequences to reinforce expectations. 

For example, if a child refuses to put their toys away, the logical consequence may be that they can’t use those toys next time. This approach teaches children about accountability and helps them understand the real-world implications of their actions.

How to Use Positive Discipline to Guide Behavior  

Positive discipline is an effective approach that focuses on teaching and guiding children rather than punishing them. It helps build respect, trust, and self-regulation while maintaining firm boundaries. 

Key Principles of Positive Discipline:  

1. Respect: Treat your child with dignity, even when addressing misbehavior.  
2. Empathy: Understand the emotions driving their behavior.  
3. Consistency: Be firm but loving in your approach.  
4. Teaching Over Punishing: Focus on long-term learning, not short-term compliance.  

Below is a step-by-step guide to implementing positive discipline in your parenting or teaching:  

1. Focus on Connection Before Correction

Children are more likely to cooperate when they feel loved and understood. Build a strong relationship first.  

What to Do:

• Use eye contact and a calm tone.  
• Get down to their level physically to talk.  
• Use empathy to acknowledge their feelings:  
• “I can see you’re frustrated because you wanted more playtime.”  
• This connection helps diffuse tension and opens the door for guidance.

2. Set Clear Expectations

Children need to know what is expected of them to meet those expectations.  

What to Do:

•  Use simple, positive language:  
• Instead of saying, “Don’t run inside,” say, “Please walk indoors.”  
• Repeat and model the behavior you want to see.  
• Use routines and visual aids (like charts) for consistent reinforcement.  
• Clear boundaries create a sense of security and predictability.

3. Teach Problem-Solving Skills  

Positive discipline involves teaching children how to handle challenging situations constructively.  

What to Do:

• When conflicts arise, guide them to find solutions:  
• “You both want the toy. How can we share it so everyone gets a turn?”  
• Encourage brainstorming and listen to their ideas.  
• This approach fosters independence and critical thinking.

4. Redirect Behavior Instead of Punishing

Redirecting helps shift focus from negative behavior to positive action.  

What to Do:

• Offer alternatives:  
• If your child is throwing a ball inside, say, “Balls are for outside. Let’s go play in the yard or use soft toys inside.”  
• Suggest an activity that meets their need appropriately.  
• This teaches children acceptable outlets for their energy or emotions.

5. Use Natural and Logical Consequences

Rather than imposing arbitrary punishments, let children experience the natural results of their actions when safe, or set logical consequences that are related to the behavior.  

Examples:

•  Natural Consequence: If they refuse to wear a coat, they’ll feel cold outside.  
• Logical Consequence: If they spill juice, they clean it up.  
• This teaches accountability and cause-and-effect thinking.

My daughter, from the earliest age, would dress herself and would refuse to wear anything she didn’t want to. Her behavior offered many opportunities to practice natural, logical consequences to her actions of not being dressed appropriately. I still would pack a jumper or coat in the car, and when she realized that she was going to be cold, we would go and get her the coat from the car. 

After this happened a few times, Harper (my daughter) listened to me when I told her she needed to dress in warm clothes or pants and a jacket. She still had the freedom to choose what pants and jacket she wanted to wear while being appropriately dressed for the weather.

6. Encourage Positive Behavior with Praise

Children are more likely to repeat behaviors that get positive attention.  

What to Do:

• Be specific in your praise:  
• “You did a great job sharing your toys with your sister!”  
• “I love how you cleaned up your room without being asked.”  
• Focus on effort, not just results.  

Acknowledging positive behavior reinforces it and builds self-esteem. I like to praise my children as part of my bedtime routine. I will tell them three things that they did today that I was proud of. 

7. Stay Calm and Consistent

Your calmness shows children how to regulate their own emotions, while consistency helps them trust your guidance.  

What to Do:

• Take a deep breath or step away for a moment if you feel frustrated.  
• Address the behavior in the same way each time so children know what to expect.  
• Modeling self-control teaches them emotional regulation.

8. Help Them Learn from Mistakes

Mistakes are opportunities to teach responsibility and resilience.  

What to Do: 

• Instead of scolding, ask reflective questions:  
• “What could we do differently next time?”  
• “How can you make this better?”  
• Collaborate on solutions and emphasize growth.  
• This approach helps them see mistakes as learning opportunities, not failures.

9. Offer Choices and Empowerment

Children feel respected and cooperative when they have some control over their actions.  

What to Do:  

• Provide limited choices:  
• “Would you like to put your shoes on first, or your jacket?”  
• “Do you want to clean up now or in 5 minutes?”  
• This helps them feel empowered while still guiding their behavior.

10. Use Time-In Instead of Time-Out

Instead of isolating a child during misbehavior, spend time together to reflect and reconnect.  

What to Do:

• Create a calm-down corner with comforting items.  
• Sit with your child and help them label their emotions.  

This approach teaches emotional regulation and strengthens your bond. We have emotional regulation worksheets for children that are available for download to help your child label and process their emotions.

By implementing positive discipline, you create an environment where children feel respected and guided, learn valuable skills, and develop a strong moral compass.

Step 5: Focus on Problem-Solving Skills and Emotional Intelligence

McCready believes in teaching children problem-solving skills and emotional regulation, which are essential for long-term success. In this step, parents are encouraged to help children identify their feelings and practice self-control techniques. 

They’re also taught to work through problems in a constructive way, which reduces the likelihood of meltdowns and aggressive behavior. Techniques like taking deep breaths, expressing emotions verbally, or finding a quiet space to cool down can make a significant difference in emotional resilience.

Step 6: Consistent Routines and Predictability

Predictable routines give children a sense of security and reduce anxiety. McCready’s system suggests establishing daily routines for common stress points, like mornings, bedtime, or homework time. Consistent routines help children know what to expect, reduce the chances of power struggles, and allow them to manage tasks more independently. 

Routines also create natural opportunities for children to develop self-discipline, as they gradually learn to follow the schedule without reminders. I am a BIG fan of the Super Nanny. One of the key components she brings into each household is setting and establishing routines. 

Implementing routines in my house has been a Godsend. Getting the kids to bed, clean their rooms, or eating dinner used to be such a struggle and a drain on my energy levels. After implementing a routine, my children know what is expected of them at what time. No more 10 more minutes fights over bed time, or can I stay up late, they know that 7.30 is story, snuggles and lights out time.  

Step 7: Use Positive Reinforcement to Encourage Good Behavior

Positive reinforcement is a cornerstone of McCready’s approach. Rather than focusing on punishing negative behavior, McCready encourages parents to recognize and reward positive actions.

This could be through verbal praise, a high-five, or other small rewards that affirm good choices. Positive reinforcement helps reinforce desired behaviors and boosts a child’s self-esteem, making them more likely to repeat these actions.

Every night, when I put my kids to bed, I like to give them positive affirmations. Each time I tell them I was proud of the behavior or task they did they simply light up. This is something I have started to do for myself also.

So many nights I would sit and think about all the things I didn’t do that day and how that made me a terrible mother. Now I think about all the accomplishments I did that day and it makes me realize what a good mother I am. 

As a parent, there are always going to be 101 things that we could have done in a day. Although when you are a parent, your time is a precious commodity because you are always busy trying to keep on top of everything. Making conscious decisions about what you are choosing to spend your time on that day can help you be a better parent and feel better about the care you provide as a parent. 

I like to add all the tasks for the day in my calendar with the amount of time assigned for each task. This helps you realistically see how much you can do in a day and prioritize your activities timely. Another helpful tool I use is my phone alarm. I have it set to go off at different times of the day for tasks that need to be done. I’m the type of person who can really get lost in the moment so I have alarms set for the kids bath times, story times ect. This helps us all stay on schedule.

Step 8: Reflect, Learn, and Adjust

The final step is for parents to regularly reflect on their parenting practices, learn from their experiences, and make adjustments as needed. Parenting is a journey, and children’s needs change as they grow. This step encourages parents to assess what’s working well and where improvements can be made, allowing them to adapt their strategies to support each child’s unique growth and development.

Benefits of the 8-Step Success System

McCready’s Powerful 8-Step Success System offers a comprehensive toolkit for building a positive family environment. By focusing on connection, autonomy, and positive discipline, this approach helps parents reduce stress, manage challenging behaviors, and promote long-term emotional health in their children.

It’s particularly useful for addressing daily struggles like bedtime battles, sibling conflicts, and homework challenges, turning these moments into opportunities for teaching life skills and building strong family relationships.

This system is highly recommended for parents looking for a structured, effective way to practice positive parenting while building mutual respect, cooperation, and emotional well-being in their home.

Reflection 

How can building life skills in your child help prevent future conflicts and promote independence?

Common Challenges Addressed by Positive Parenting Solutions

Positive parenting solutions are designed to address a wide range of common parenting struggles, helping parents feel more equipped to handle difficult situations with empathy and confidence.

Bedtime Battles

Many families struggle with bedtime, often leading to a vicious cycle of frustration and tension. Positive parenting solutions provide strategies to make bedtime smoother and more pleasant, transforming it into a time of calm and connection.

Solution: Establish a consistent bedtime routine that includes connection time, such as reading a book or having a quiet conversation. A predictable routine can reduce resistance and help children feel more secure, making it easier for them to settle down.

Sibling Squabbles

Sibling conflicts can be a major source of stress for parents. Positive parenting solutions suggest focusing on building empathy and teaching conflict-resolution skills to help siblings handle their disagreements constructively.

Solution: Encourage each child to share their feelings in a calm, respectful environment. Positive parenting techniques teach children to communicate effectively, reducing the intensity and frequency of sibling squabbles. When my children are being unkind to each other I like to put things into perspective and ask them if they would speak to Jesus that way.

Morning Mania

Getting kids ready in the morning can feel like a marathon, especially when everyone is rushing out the door. Positive parenting solutions include strategies for establishing morning routines that minimize stress and create a positive start to the day.

Solution: Involve children in planning the morning routine, giving them a sense of responsibility and ownership over their tasks. Setting up clear expectations and using positive reinforcement can transform morning mania into a smooth process.

Technology Battles

Screen time and technology use are common sources of conflict in today’s households. Positive parenting solutions help parents establish healthy boundaries around technology, fostering a balanced relationship between online and offline activities.

Solution: Set specific screen-time limits and explain the reasons behind these limits to your child. Engage in alternative activities together to reinforce the value of real-world experiences over excessive screen time.

Benefits of Positive Parenting Solutions for Mental Health and Family Harmony

Implementing positive parenting solutions can benefit both children and parents’ mental health, reducing stress, fostering resilience, and strengthening the family bond.

1. Improved Emotional Well-Being

Positive parenting solutions encourage children to express their emotions in healthy ways. By fostering mutual respect and open communication, parents create a safe environment where children feel valued and understood. This supportive environment can prevent issues like anxiety and low self-esteem, helping children thrive emotionally.

2. Building Healthy Relationships

By modeling respectful and compassionate behavior, parents practicing positive parenting solutions set a foundation for their children to form healthy relationships with others. This approach emphasizes empathy and cooperation, which are crucial skills for building strong relationships with peers and family members.

3. Developing a Strong Sense of Independence

Children who grow up with positive parenting solutions tend to develop a strong sense of independence and self-confidence. By encouraging problem-solving and decision-making skills, parents empower their children to face challenges with resilience and a positive outlook.

Recent Research Supporting Positive Parenting

Recent research backs the benefits of positive parenting solutions. Studies show that children raised in environments that prioritize empathy, respect, and life skills are more likely to exhibit fewer behavioral issues and achieve greater emotional stability. Positive parenting has been shown to create a foundation for healthy relationships, mental resilience, and academic success.

Reflection

How can incorporating positive parenting solutions into your routine impact your child’s long-term mental and emotional well-being?

LDS Teachings and Positive Parenting Solutions

LDS teachings encourage parents to guide their children with love, patience, and understanding, aligning well with positive parenting solutions. The doctrine emphasizes kindness and empathy in parenting, values central to the positive parenting approach.

As the scriptures teach, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness” (Galatians 5:22). Following these principles, LDS families can create nurturing environments where children feel valued, respected, and loved.

Conclusion

Positive parenting solutions offer a refreshing, effective approach to handling kids’ behavior challenges while promoting mutual respect, emotional health, and family harmony. Developed by Amy McCready, these solutions provide parents with a comprehensive system, from in-depth modules to interactive tools, helping them address common issues like sibling squabbles, technology battles, and morning routines.

By practicing positive discipline, parents can foster independence, build life skills, and nurture healthy relationships, creating a positive and loving family environment.

Reflect on how you can integrate these positive parenting solutions into your daily life, knowing that each step can lead to remarkable changes, less stress, and more joy in your parenting journey.

References

UC Davis Health, Children’s Hospital, The Power of Positive Parenting

Neppl TK, Jeon S, Diggs O, Donnellan MB. Positive parenting, effortful control, and developmental outcomes across early childhood. Dev Psychol. 2020 Mar;56(3):444-457. 

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