Positive Parenting Styles & How To Do It

Vanessa is an Australian LDS lifestyle blogger. Landed in Salt Lake City, Utah, from the sun kissed beaches of Bondi, Australia, Vanessa is a wife and mother of three children.

Positive Parenting Styles Emotional Intelligence

Positive parenting styles focus on nurturing a child’s development through encouragement, open communication, and clear boundaries. Unlike authoritarian parenting, which relies on strict rules and harsh punishments, or permissive parenting, which is more lenient, positive parenting styles balance high warmth with clear expectations.

Positive parents strive to guide their children with love, patience, and empathy, fostering a supportive environment that strengthens the parent-child bond and encourages good behavior, emotional intelligence, and resilience.

In this article, we’ll explore the key elements of positive parenting styles, the benefits for children’s mental health and social skills, and practical techniques for fostering positive changes in a child’s behavior. Let’s dive into the different positive parenting approaches that encourage healthy child development, build mutual respect, and prepare children for success.

What are Positive Parenting Styles?

Positive parenting styles refer to approaches that focus on understanding a child’s needs, promoting good behavior through encouragement and structure, and nurturing emotional growth. Rooted in positive psychology, these styles encourage children to develop problem-solving skills, empathy, and a positive attitude, setting the stage for healthy relationships and a strong sense of self.

When my children were babies we followed the baby leading style which is feeding the baby when it’s hungry and letting the baby sleep when they are tired. This means that there was no schedule. Kids grow up so fast and I didn’t make the distinction to switch parenting styles and become the leader.

I have learned so much from these articles, especially learning to set boundaries and discipline with my little ones. I can tell you my children are much more well behaved and there is no more bed time battles or morning mania. I hope that these parenting styles can help you as much as they have helped me.

The Authoritative Parenting Style: High Expectations with Emotional Support

Positive Parenting Styles Authoritative Parenting

Philosophy:

This style combines high expectations with high responsiveness. Authoritative parents set clear rules and boundaries while being warm, empathetic, and supportive. The primary goal is to teach children responsibility, self-regulation, and independence within a structured environment.

Key Focus: Balance of firm discipline and emotional support.

Discipline Approach:

Authoritative parents use clear rules and logical consequences to teach accountability. Discipline focuses on helping children understand the outcomes of their actions while maintaining a respectful approach.

Example: If a child doesn’t complete their homework, an authoritative parent might say, “You didn’t do your homework, so you won’t have extra screen time today. Let’s talk about how you can plan better next time.”

Role Of Rules & Boundaries:

Rules and boundaries are central to authoritative parenting. They are clear, consistent, and age-appropriate. Parents explain the reasons behind rules and encourage children to follow them through mutual respect and understanding.

Example: A parent might say, “We need to clean up toys after playing because it keeps our space safe and organized.”

Emotional Expression:

Authoritative parents encourage emotional expression but within limits. They validate feelings and teach children how to manage emotions constructively while maintaining focus on expected behavior.

Example: If a child throws a tantrum, an authoritative parent might say, “I see you’re upset, but hitting isn’t okay. Let’s take some deep breaths and talk about what’s wrong.”

Independence & Authority:

Authoritative parenting encourages independence within a structured framework. Children are given choices and responsibilities appropriate for their age, helping them develop autonomy while understanding the importance of rules.

Example: A parent might let a child choose between two options for completing chores but require that the chore be done.

Approach To Misbehavior:

Misbehavior is seen as an opportunity to teach responsibility and self-regulation. Authoritative parents use logical consequences and discussions to help children understand how their actions affect others.

Example: If a child breaks a rule, the parent might say, “Because you didn’t follow the rule, we’ll need to adjust your privileges. Let’s talk about how we can avoid this next time.”

Age Focus:

Effective for children of all ages, including older children and teenagers, as it combines structure with the flexibility to adapt to developmental changes.

Diana Baumrind explains that authoritative parenting “combines high expectations with high warmth,” leading to positive outcomes for children, including better behavior, social skills, and academic success.

Core Traits: Authoritative parents set clear rules and consistent boundaries, but they also listen to their child’s opinions, encourage independence, and support emotional development.
Benefits: Children raised with authoritative parenting tend to have high self-esteem, strong social skills, and better emotional regulation.
Positive Techniques Used: Positive reinforcement, natural consequences, and open communication.
Example: An authoritative parent might say, “I understand you’re upset about going to bed early, but a good night’s sleep helps you feel better for school. Let’s read a story to help you wind down.”

Attachment Parenting

Philosophy:

Attachment parenting prioritizes building a secure and strong bond between parent and child, particularly in the early years. It’s based on the idea that close physical and emotional connection fosters trust, security, and independence as the child grows.

Age Range and Long-Term Emphasis:

Attachment parenting primarily focuses on infancy and early childhood. Its goal is to create a secure attachment that serves as a foundation for healthy relationships and emotional resilience later in life.

Approach to Behavior and Discipline:

Attachment parenting doesn’t focus heavily on discipline techniques but instead aims to prevent behavioral issues by fostering a secure attachment. It assumes that meeting a child’s needs consistently and promptly helps them develop trust and reduces the likelihood of problem behaviors.

Example: If a baby cries, an attachment parent might immediately pick them up to provide comfort, believing that responsiveness builds security.

Role of Boundaries and Independence:

Attachment parenting prioritizes responsiveness over boundaries in the early years. It focuses on meeting the child’s immediate needs without emphasizing limits, trusting that independence will naturally develop from a secure attachment.

Example: Co-sleeping or feeding on demand to ensure the child feels emotionally supported.

Core Traits: Parents practice close, nurturing care, such as responsive feeding, babywearing, and co-sleeping (where appropriate and safe).
Benefits: Children raised with attachment parenting often feel secure, have strong self-worth, and are able to form healthy relationships.
Positive Techniques Used: Emotional responsiveness, physical closeness, and support for children’s needs.
Key Focus: Nurturing a deep emotional connection and responding promptly to the child’s needs.
Example: An attachment parent might respond to their child’s crying by holding and comforting them, helping the child feel safe and understood.