10 Christian Dating Rules You’re Probably Breaking—And How to Fix Them!
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Dating as a Christian comes with its own unique challenges. With so much advice floating around—some biblical, some cultural, and some just personal opinions—it can be hard to know what’s truly right. You may be striving to honor God in your relationships but unknowingly breaking key Christian dating principles.
If you’ve been wondering why your dating life isn’t going as smoothly as you’d like, here are 10 Christian dating rules you’re probably breaking—and how to fix them!
1. You’re Prioritizing Attraction Over Character
The Mistake:
Physical attraction is important, but if it’s your top priority, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. Many Christians unknowingly chase “chemistry” while overlooking a person’s spiritual maturity and character.
The Fix:
Shift your focus to spiritual compatibility. Look at their relationship with God, their integrity, and how they treat others. Proverbs 31:30 reminds us: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
2. You’re Not Guarding Your Heart
The Mistake:
It’s easy to rush into emotional intimacy before a relationship is truly established. Sharing deep struggles, fears, and dreams too soon can create a false sense of closeness and make breakups even more painful.
The Fix:
Follow Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Be intentional about emotional boundaries, just as you would physical ones. Build a strong foundation of trust and friendship before diving into deep emotional territory.
3. You’re Dating Without Accountability
The Mistake:
Many Christian couples isolate themselves, thinking they don’t need input from Godly mentors, family, or church community. This can lead to blind spots, unhealthy patterns, and even compromise.
The Fix:
Surround yourself with wise counsel (Proverbs 15:22). Invite Godly friends, mentors, or a pastor to walk alongside your relationship. They can provide wisdom, encouragement, and correction when needed.
4. You’re Ignoring Red Flags
The Mistake:
Sometimes, we want a relationship to work so badly that we overlook obvious warning signs—like a lack of spiritual leadership, dishonesty, selfishness, or emotional instability.
The Fix:
Pray for discernment and be willing to walk away if something isn’t right. Jesus taught that “a tree is known by its fruit” (Matthew 7:16). If their actions don’t align with godly character, don’t ignore it!
5. You’re Relying on Feelings Instead of Wisdom
The Mistake:
Falling in love feels amazing, but emotions aren’t always reliable. If you base your dating decisions purely on feelings, you may overlook red flags or stay in a relationship that isn’t God’s best.
The Fix:
Seek God’s wisdom, not just your emotions (James 1:5). Ask yourself:
- Does this person draw me closer to God?
- Do they encourage me to grow in faith and maturity?
- Are we aligned in our values and purpose?
If the answer is no, be honest with yourself and seek the Lord’s direction.
6. You’re Not Setting (or Keeping) Clear Boundaries
The Mistake:
Many Christian couples set boundaries but struggle to keep them. The desire for intimacy is natural, but ignoring your own rules leads to guilt and distance from God.
The Fix:
Be specific and realistic about your boundaries. Instead of just saying, “We won’t cross the line,” decide in advance:
- Where you’ll spend time together (Avoid places that invite temptation).
- How you’ll hold each other accountable (Talk to a mentor or friend).
- What’s off-limits physically (And don’t justify small compromises).
1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality.” The best way to do this? Set boundaries before temptation arises.
7. You’re Trying to “Missionary Date”
The Mistake:
Many Christians enter relationships hoping to change the other person. They date non-believers (or lukewarm Christians) with the belief that love will transform them.
The Fix:
2 Corinthians 6:14 warns, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” While it’s great to encourage others in their faith, dating should be a partnership, not a ministry project. Choose someone who already shares your faith and values.
8. You’re Rushing (or Delaying) Commitment
The Mistake:
Some Christians rush into serious relationships without truly getting to know the other person. Others avoid commitment out of fear, even when they’ve found a Godly partner.
The Fix:
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything.” Seek God’s timing, not your own desires or fears. If you’re rushing, slow down and build a solid foundation. If you’re avoiding commitment, ask yourself: Is fear holding me back from God’s plan?
9. You’re Not Seeking God First
The Mistake:
It’s easy to make a relationship your top priority and neglect your walk with God. Many couples spend more time focused on each other than on their spiritual growth.
The Fix:
Matthew 6:33 reminds us: “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Make sure your relationship centers on Christ by:
- Praying together.
- Attending church and Bible studies.
- Encouraging each other’s personal relationship with God.
Your partner should never replace God as your source of joy and purpose.
10. You’re Not Trusting God with Your Love Life
The Mistake:
Many Christians stress over their dating life—feeling like they have to force things to happen or settle out of fear they’ll never find “the one.”
The Fix:
Trust that God is in control of your love story. Proverbs 3:5-6 says: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
If you’re single, use this time to grow spiritually and prepare yourself for a Godly relationship. If you’re dating, seek God’s guidance rather than forcing your own plans.
Final Thoughts
Dating as a Christian isn’t about following a list of rigid rules—it’s about honoring God in your relationships. If you’ve broken any of these dating principles, don’t be discouraged! Instead, ask God for wisdom and strength to make changes.
By focusing on Godly character, emotional purity, wise boundaries, and trusting God, you can build a relationship that not only brings you joy but also glorifies Him.
Which of these dating mistakes have you made? What changes are you willing to make today? Let’s start a conversation in the comments below.
Vanessa Rooney – LDS Mum
