The Art of Marriage: Nurturing Love, Faith, and Eternal Commitment

The Art of Marriage for Latter Day Saints.

The art of marriage is a sacred and deeply meaningful practice for Latter-day Saints (LDS), guided by principles of love, faith, and eternal commitment. As latter day saints our marriage is not just a legal or social contract but a divine institution ordained by God, where two individuals come together to form a union that extends beyond mortality.

LDS marriages and sealings are eternal. The marriage is sealed for all time and eternity. This perspective shapes the way LDS couples approach their relationships, instilling a sense of purpose and commitment that transcends the challenges and trials of mortal life.

My Temple Sealing Story

Temple sealings are a beautiful way to make that eternal commitment to your spouse. I remember when I got sealed to my husband in the Orlando temple. We had eloped in vegas to avoid the drawn out immigration process. At that time there was a 18 month wait on the K1 fiance visa.

After waiting a year after our marriage to be able to be sealed together we had already had my first son Harrison. When it was time to put our hands together during the sealing process Harrison instinctually placed his hand on mine and my husbands. I’ll never forget that moment. Children are so close to the veil and very instinctual.

Today there are new rules regarding Temple sealings. You no longer have to wait a year for the sealing process after a non temple marriage. You can now get sealed straight away.

Tools For Marriage

The art of marriage, involves nurturing a relationship built on love, trust, and shared values, with a focus on creating a partnership that is not only fulfilling in this life but also eternal in nature. Heavenly Father tells us about the importance of communication in Proverbs 2:2 ” incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding”.

When your partner is communicating to you about their needs it is not merely enough to simply listen. We should take those words upon our hearts and implement positive change.

With it all being said and done I must admit it is very easy to say a good marraige is built on love, trust and shared values but what does that look like in modern daily life? Below are some of my favorite tools that I have used in my marriage that was effective.

Reflective Thoughts

What do you believe makes a marriage strong and enduring over time?
In what ways do you and your partner continue to grow and evolve together?
What role does empathy play in maintaining a healthy marriage?

5 Love Languages

The 5 love languages can help us decifer what love looks like to us. For some people it’s gifts for others touch. Understanding our partners love language helps us to show love in the way that our partner recives it. For instance if Marys love language is touch and words of affirmation, when Jeff comes home with a gift for her it does not speak to her as a loving gesture because that is not the way she feels and recieves love. The same situation can also be reversed.

The 5 love languages are:

Words of affirmation.
Quality time.
Physical touch.
Acts of service.
Receiving gifts

To find out what your love language is you can take the love languages quiz on the love languages website.

His needs her needs

His needs and her needs is a wonderfully insightful book that was reccomended to me from a fellow church member.

In this classic bestseller Willard F. Harley, Jr., identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. I particulary loved the quiz which works on a linear 6 point scale. Each partner rates different areas in their marriage privatley. Once finished you share your answers with each other.

The answers may shock you. What I thought my husband thought and what he really thought were like night and day. I can be a little messy and my husband is a clean freak. Once I counted how many times he vaccumes in one day and could you believe it was 7 times!! He rated my cleaning ability as satisfactory even though he does the majority of the house work. I always felt guilty because he would clean things before I could get to it. Now that I know he is satisfied with the household chores and cleanliness I can release that guilt and use my energy on something more useful.

Reflection

What qualities do you think are essential for a successful marriage?
How do you and your partner navigate challenges and conflicts in your relationship.

Regular Scripture Study

“In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e.”—President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Of Things That Matter Most.” I remember when President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said the above quote at General Conference. It hit me really hard and forced me to look at my own self indulgent behaviors and pull back on the amount of time I was spending on them.

One common value that all LDS members can agree on is the love of the scriptures. It is important to do weekly scripture study with your spouse as it can strengthen the bond between you both and deepen your spiritual connection.

By studying scriptures together, you have the opportunity to learn and grow in your faith as a couple, gaining insights and wisdom that can help you navigate life’s challenges with a shared perspective.

Engaging in scripture study together also provides a foundation for open communication, meaningful discussions, and the opportunity to reinforce shared values and beliefs.

Ultimately, regular scripture study with your spouse can not only enrich your individual spiritual lives but also strengthen your relationship as you align your hearts and minds in pursuit of greater understanding and unity in your faith journey together.

Action Item

Set a time and day to study the scriptures with your partner. Outline how long you are going to study for and which scriptures you will read and ponder.

The choice of scriptures can be chosen by each partner alternating weeks. If you are not wanting to choose a different scripure each week, you can follow along with the come follow me resources. They are ample for a night of scripture study and the lessons follow up with reflection questions.

To snaz it up you can make a delicious fruit and cheese plate or little mini dishes and candles to give your scripture study a date night feel.

Relying on Heavenly Father

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths.” – Proverbs 3:5

One of the core values in the art of marriage for Latter Day Saints is a strong emphasis on faith and spirituality. LDS couples are encouraged to cultivate a relationship with God and to center their marriage on principles of love, forgiveness, and service.

Sometimes we don’t understand our partners needs even if they communicate them to us. Perhaps on the other side of the coin your partner isn’t telling you whats wrong and they are expecting you to read their mind.

Praying to Heavenly Father sincerly in a heartfelt mannor will bring you answers. I can testify to the fact that Heavenly Father answers prayers. There has been numerous times where I have prayed for understanding or help and He has answered me.

Prayer, scripture study, and church attendance plays a central role in strengthening the marital bond and deepening the spiritual connection between husband and wife. By placing their trust in God and seeking His guidance in their marriage, LDS individuals believe they can overcome obstacles and grow closer together in love and unity.

Reflective Thought

When has Heavenly Father answered your prayers? What did that look like?
How do you celebrate and appreciate each other in your marriage?

Unity & Heavenly Mother

One of the key aspects of the art of marriage is the importance of communication, partnership and unity. Heavenly Father talks about this unity with Heavenly Mother in Proverbs 3:15-18.

“She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her. Length of days in in her right hand and her left hand riches and honour. Her ways of pleasentness, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is everyone one that retaineth her.”

LDS couples are taught to work together as partners, Heavenly Father shows us in the above example how he is equal partners with Heavenly Mother, referring to her as the tree of life. Fostering open communication in a marriage enables mutual respect, and a spirit of cooperation. These virtues can build a strong foundation for marriage that will stand the test of time.

Reflective Thought

In what ways are you equal in your relationship?
In what ways would you like to be equal in your marriage?

Acts of Service

The art of marriage for LDS members includes a focus on selflessness and service. LDS teachings emphasize the importance of putting the needs of others before oneself and of serving one’s spouse and family with love and dedication.

By following the example of Jesus Christ in your daily lives, individuals seek toemulate His qualities of compassion, kindness, and humility in their marriages, creating a culture of love and mutual support within their homes.

Part of this kindness and compassion are acts of service. An easy way to perform acts of service for your partner can be as simple as taking something off their plate for a day. For parents it could be changing a diaper or feeding the baby. Perhaps you get up early and take the baby out of the room so that your partner can sleep in.

Other ways to serve your partner include:

Running an errand for them.
Making your partner breakfast.
Doing a load of laundry then fold and put the garments away.
A massage for sore muscles.
Run a hot bath with bath salts and light candles to give it that day spa feel.
Give them a day off from the kids and housework.

Acts of Service as a Couple

Engaging in acts of service with your spouse is important as it fosters a spirit of unity, compassion, and teamwork within your relationship. By serving others together, you not only make a positive impact on the lives of those in need but also strengthen the bond between you and your spouse.

Collaborating on acts of service allows you to work towards a common goal, share meaningful experiences, and cultivate a sense of shared purpose and fulfillment. Serving others as a couple can also deepen your empathy, gratitude, and appreciation for each other, as you witness firsthand the kindness, generosity, and selflessness that your spouse brings to the world. Overall, acts of service with your spouse can not only strengthen your relationship but also nurture a spirit of love, generosity, and unity that can enrich your lives and those around you.

Some acts of service you can perform together are:

Cleaning the church building or temple.
Visit inactive or lonely church members.
Volunteer at a local shelter.
Walk dogs from a dog shelter.
Cuddle babies at your local hospital.
Spend time at a nursing home. You could read or play games with the elderly.
Create care packages for the homeless or prisoners that are just being released.
Donate blood together.
Write letters of encouragment and appreciation to missionaries and friends.

In conclusion, the art of marriage for LDS individuals is a sacred and deeply meaningful practice guided by principles of love, faith, and eternal commitment. By embracing the teachings of the LDS faith and seeking to build their marriages on a foundation of love, trust, and shared values, LDS couples can create a partnership that is not only fulfilling in this life but also eternal in nature. Through communication, unity, selflessness, and service, LDS individuals can nurture strong, enduring relationships that reflect the divine institution of marriage as ordained by God.

LDS Mum.